


i never thought it would come to this

by joneinyourarea



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Two Endings, only third chapter is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:13:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27678593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joneinyourarea/pseuds/joneinyourarea
Summary: ‘you want them to win again?’‘absolutely fucking not’‘alright, beat them at their own game then.’‘oh yeah? and how do you suppose i do that?’‘jump them with your friends.’‘i don’t have friends, dipshit.’‘i’m offended. you have me now, bitch.’or my shitty rendition of the skz 90s ficfest bc i'm a shitty author.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: Be Kind: Rewind! | SKZ 90s Fic Fest





	1. i never thought it would come to this

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello, jas here. i wanted to tell you that the rating is explicit because of the major character death that is in the tags, but if you don't want the major character death then you don't have to read the last chapter. it was the original ending i made when i was in a bad headspace mentally but i came up with the happy ending and i liked that better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [this is my prompt song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRYZijLZR-Q)

five. that’s all that jisung thinks his life comes down to. five. decades? years? days? hours? seconds? nothing could capture what a pitiful existence he lives. nothing but five. he won’t give himself anything but that. five what? that’s not his decision to make, he thinks, so he tells people to figure it out themselves. but inevitably, it always leads him back to five. he doesn’t have the time or patience for anyone. especially for something so minimal that there’s nothing worth explaining, nothing to tell. except for those five moments. 

_ V. _

_ the early morning air is stiff, chilling even, and it forces him to draw his flannel closer to his body. it doesn’t help with the chill he feels down to the bone, but it brings him a sense of comfort knowing that there’s something holding him close. it’s the most warmth he’s felt in years although the heat is practically nonexistent. that thought alone makes him feel pathetic, that the only comfort he’s had comes from a piece of cloth. it’s pitiful and he knows it.  _

_ but it’s all he knows how to feel. he doesn’t have anyone on his side. he’s always been alone, and maybe that’s why this is so easy. he knows that nobody is going to miss him when he goes so he scoots close to the ledge. he’s got his note addressed to hyunjin, the person he feels closest to; if wanting to beat the living shit out of each other was even considered close anyway. but better to address hyunjin than his mom. at least his mom tried to help, tried to get the voices to stop. _

_ folding the letter, he clutches it in his right hand. there’s a bottle of jack daniel’s in his left as he pushes himself off the ground. it’s the perfect time because it’s 3:45 in the morning and there will be nobody around to witness what he’s about to do. there’s that hint of doubt that crosses his mind, making him resolve to check both sides of the road to make sure that nobody will catch him in the act. satisfied, he climbs over the guardrail and stands at the edge of the overpass. _

_ it’s right as he’s about to plunge when he hears a voice telling him to back away, but this one doesn’t come from the recesses of his mind. the voice gets closer as his mind takes him further away. right as his feet are about to slip from the edge, he feels arms wrapping around him and pulling him away from his escape. he thrashes against the voice, but he can feel himself being dragged back over the rail and closer to the road. _

_ there’s the sound of a car door opening and he feels himself getting shoved into a seat. he has at least half a mind to look and see who’s fighting to strap his seatbelt in and he’s met with shaggy brown hair and eyes laced with concern. if he didn’t feel so numb right now he would possibly find this man attractive, but he doesn’t because he’s in this man’s car instead of feeling his head smash into the concrete he’d been craving. it’s just another reason that life doesn’t agree with him, he thinks. the last thing he remembers is hoping that at least he’s going to be tortured to death by this attractive man who has the audacity to run his hands through jisung’s hair like he cares. he can hear the man humming to some katy perry sounding bullshit, fingers laced into jisung’s hair, and the voice paired with the soothing motions of the man petting him like a damn dog sends him to sleep. _

_ IV. _

_ jisung wakes up pissed the fuck off and he’s got two valid reasons to be as pissed as he is: one, he’s woken up in some random dude’s house in the middle of god knows where with absolutely no idea how to get home and two, he’s woken up. that fact alone pisses him off to no end because it means that all those plans he’d had for last night have gone to waste. his mood only worsens when the stranger from last night opens the door to check on him. it irks him. why does this person he’s known for less than 12 hours look more worried than everyone else in his life, people that he’s known for years? _

_ he brings food with him, scrambled eggs and toast, and sits with jisung while he eats. the room is silent, tense, and there are unsaid words drifting around them, coating them. he speaks up first, attempting to break the silence they’ve put themselves in.  _

_ ‘go ahead.’ _

_ ‘what?’ _

_ ‘i know you want to ask, so go ahead,’ _

_ ‘why?’ _

_ ‘why do it?’ _

_ ‘yeah. why’d you want to jump?’ _

_ ‘because. i don’t want to be alive.’ _

_ ‘yes you do.’ _

_ ‘no, i don’t’ _

_ ‘yes, you do. you just want to stop feeling the way you do and you think that the only way out is to jump.’ _

_ ‘well, isn’t it?’ _

_ ‘no, it’s the easy way out.’ _

_ ‘what’s that even mean?’ _

_ ‘well, what made you want to jump?’ _

_ ‘why do you care? why am i even having this conversation with you, i don’t even know who you are.’ _

_ ‘well, obviously it bothered you enough to want to smash you head into fucking concrete so’ _

_ ‘you don’t even know me. you don’t care what happened.’ _

_ ‘i cared enough to pull you from the ledge.’ _

_ ‘ooh, good for you. want a fucking cookie?’ _

_ ‘listen, kid. i’m just trying to help-’ _

_ ‘well, fucking stop. it’s none of your goddamn business.’ _

_ jisung grabs his phone and his wallet before he stomps to the front door. he’s in the middle of lacing his shoes when the stranger comes up to him, but the side eye he throws keeps the man glued in place. with one last piercing glare, he leaves and slams the odor as he makes his way out of the stranger’s residence. when he’s a few feet away from the door he hears it open and close again, but ignores it in favour of looking for the nearest exit.  _

_ there’s a three-lane highway in sight with a speed limit of 70mph and he’s got an idea. he feels in his flannel pocket for his note to hyunjin and when he confirms that it’s in there he makes a run for the highway. just as he’s about to finally get the sweet release of death he’s been craving, he can feel arms wrap around him and he feels himself get pulled back. again. how pathetic. he’s not going to stop though. and the stranger knows this too. he kicks, screams and thrashes to get out of this man’s grip. he thinks he’s even bitten the man’s bicep at one point, but he can’t really remember. oh well, anything to get out of this grip of steel, he thinks.  _

_ except it doesn’t work because the man doesn’t let go until they’re both back inside his house and he knows jisung won’t make a run for it.  _

_ ‘okay, what the actual fuck is your problem?’ _

_ ‘why does it matter? you don’t know me-’ _

_ ‘you think i need to know you to worry? newsflash asshole, you aren’t the only one in the room who’s attempted.’ _

_ ‘good for you, but you didn’t succeed.’ _

_ ‘neither did you, dickwad.’ _

_ ‘well- i would’ve if you hadn’t stopped me!’ _

_ ‘why do you even want to die anyway?’ _

_ ‘because i hate being everyone’s punching bag. literally. i’m the local faggot so everyone thinks i’m some target to either beat the shit out of or sexually assault because i’m gay so i obviously like it.’ _

_ ‘what the fuck? why didn’t you, i don’t know, call the police?’ _

_ ‘what will they do? offer conversion therapy? i’m gay, not in need of help. they can’t break me.’ _

_ ‘but haven’t they already? you trying to end your life shows that they’ve gotten to you again, and if you succeed then they win.’ _

_ ‘well-’ _

_ ‘you want them to win again?’ _

_ ‘absolutely fucking not’ _

_ ‘alright, beat them at their own game then.’ _

_ ‘oh yeah? and how do you suppose i do that?’ _

_ ‘jump them with your friends.’ _

_ ‘i don’t have friends, dipshit.’ _

_ ‘i’m offended. you have me now, bitch.’ _

_ ‘yeah?’ _

_ ‘yeah. so let’s kick het ass!’ _

_ ‘hell yeah! i’m han jisung by the way.’ _

_ ‘lee minho at your service.’ _

_ they shake hands and for the first time in years, jisung smiles and means it genuinely. _

_ III. _

_ everything only goes up from there and jisung begins to think that he’s on top of the world, like nothing can stop him. minho’s seamlessly entered jisung’s orbit, but maybe it’s not such a bad thing. well, it’s dangerous, but not a bad thing. it only became dangerous when jisung found out that he’d had a dilemma. said dilemma involves feelings. certain feelings regarding a certain boy who’s literally saved his life. twice. _

_ and those certain feelings have been bordering on romantic for ages now and he feels like a dunce, but he doesn’t feel like it’s one-sided. he’s seen minho’s lingering stares, felt the gentle caresses, heard his carefully crafted words. he knows it’s not one-sided, but he’s still not ready. he can’t quite get those three words out no matter how hard he tries.  _

_ so he waits with bated breath and the words of a thousand love songs on the tip of his tongue. he could write minho a million sonnets, but even then that would never justify what he feels. so he waits, the words he’s left for minho are nothing but ink smudged into his personal journal locked away from the world, locked away from minho. probably never to see the light of day.  _

_ and that’s how it stays for a while, lingering touches. minho gently caresses his face, always having that sweet smile that reaches his eyes; minho always speaks to him in a hushed voice, like if he were to speak up the magic of the moment would be lost. but at least he knows that minho cares.  _

_ and he decides that he needs to absolutely tell minho his feelings when minho leans in one day, one year and two months into their friendship, and gives him a peck on the lips on accident. he didn’t want minho to apologize for kissing him, he wanted minho to meant it, wanted to know how it felt when minho kissed him with no regrets. but still, he waited. he was happy enough. _

_ but even happiness doesn’t last forever. _

_ // _

_ jisung finally decides that he wants to tell minho his feelings. he realizes this three months after the accidental kiss because he’s tired of waiting. that’s when he texts minho, asking him if he’d like to meet up because jisung has something important he wants to tell him. minho instantly agrees and they decide to meet at the cafe that’s halfway between both of their houses.  _

_ it takes about twenty minutes for jisung to arrive and he knows minho should only be around five to ten minutes so he orders both of their drinks and waits for them to be made before he sits in their usual seat.  _

_ and maybe jisung’s already nervous because of the confession that he’s waiting to finally get out, but minho doesn’t show on time. of course, he could be stuck in traffic, but he’d always text or call. it’s only five minutes though, so he waits patiently.  _

_ only five minutes slowly seeps into ten, and then eventually twenty. this worries jisung and he begins to panic, calling minho. it goes to voicemail. he tries again. voicemail. a third time. voicemail again.  _

_ well, shit.  _

_ he tries to tell himself minho is fine and that there’s nothing wrong, but the time is ticking away and it’s wearing down his thoughts of rationality with every second that minho’s not there. the waitress comes and asks him if everything’s alright and he tries his best to sound unphased when he says yes, but his voice trembles. _

_ she smiles sympathetically, sitting down next to him and asking what’s wrong, her face scrunching in concern as he tells her the situation. she does try to reassure him and tell him that maybe minho really is stuck in traffic like he assumes. she leaves with a gentle pat on his shoulder.  _

_ and then the news that’s been running in the background on the tv that had been talking about the weather is abruptly cut off with a breaking news story. _

_ ‘this just in, there’s been a single car crash wherein the driver of the car has last traction and driven off of a nearby overpass. the car landed upside down, crushing the driver. when first responders arrived on the scene they pronounced the driver dead and loaded him into the ambulance. sources say the driver has yet to be identified. more on this is yet to come, stay tuned.’ _

_ the waitress makes eye contact with jisung, both worried for the boy who hasn’t arrived yet. the anxiety jisung felted only seemed to increase as the time ticked by with no news.  _

_ until the telltale sign of the breaking news comes on an hour and a half after minho is supposed to arrive.  _

_ ‘welcome back to ytn news, i’m jung eunji and this just in: the driver of the fatal crash earlier this evening has finally been identified as a 22 year old male attending yonsei university, but medical professionals are not yet revealing the name of the victim until the family has been contacted.’ _

_ jisung’s face loses all colour as he blacks out the newscaster. all he’s got on his mind is minho. what are the chances of it being someone else between minho’s home and the cafe who was 22 and attending yonsei? the waitress looks at him and he looks at her. she seems to know what he is thinking because she walks over to him and tries to comfort him the best she can. for the first time in years, he prays.  _


	2. i'll love you with every beat of my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [this is the song this chap is inspired by](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25rL-ooWICU)

_ II. _

_ he’s terrified, petrified of what the news will say because if the news confirms what he’s thinking he doesn’t know what he’ll do. minho means the world to him and not having him around would be- _

_ jisung doesn’t even want to think about that because it brings him to tears. he can’t think of a life without minho, can’t see one without minho. hell, he doesn’t even remember what it felt like to not have minho at his side, he refuses to. that was the darkest time in his life and he refuses to go back there.  _

_ he can’t go back to how he used to be, he can’t revert back to the shell of himself he always hated. but as the minutes tick by with no sign of minho, it seems likes there’s no hope. maybe he should call minho again. he frantically searches for his phone and when he finds it he sees four messages from chan, three from changbin, two from jeongin, sixteen messages in his 00 line gc and three missed calls from minho with one voicemail. all over an hour ago. he presses the play button and puts it on speaker so he doesn’t have to struggle to hear.  _

_ ‘hey, sung, i saw that you called so i was calling back. i had to get gas so that’s why i was running a little late but i forgot to text. i’m sorry for worrying you, love, i didn’t mean it.’ _

_ there’s a slight pause where he can hear minho chuckling. _

_ ‘you still love me though, right? because i- woah, what the fuck?’ _

_ there’s the sound of screeching tires, metal on metal and then a loud splash before the audio cuts out. _

_ and then he checks the messages he’s gotten. _

**_from: innie 🦊_ ** **_  
_ ** _ have you seen the news? 21:06 _ _   
_ _ is minho with you? 21:06 _

**_00 line 🏳️‍🌈_ **

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : sung _ _   
_ **_jinnie_ ** _ 😚: jisung _ _   
_ **_jinnie_ ** _ 😚: han jisung _ _   
_ **_jinnie_ ** _ 😚: sung, please _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩:  _ sung, you with min? _   
**_lixie_ ** 🤩:  _ sung? _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: jisung, this isn’t funny _ _   
_ **_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: answer us _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : did you go to min’s house today? _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : fuck, what if min was on his way to jisung _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : wait, the news is back _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : what the fuck _ _   
_ **_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : no _ _   
_ **_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : no, this isn’t right _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : who else could it be? fuck _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: sungie? baby? are- are you okay? _

**_from: chan the man_ ** _ 🤧 _ _   
_ _ sung? 21:06 _ _   
_ _ the others say you won’t answer 21:16 _ _   
_ _ fuck, i just saw the news 21:16 _ _   
_ _ sung? please tell me you and minho are alright 21: 23 _

**_from: baby binnie_ ** _ 💪 _ _   
_ _ jisung, hey, i saw the news 21:30 _ _   
_ _ fuck, is it minho? 21:30 _ _   
_ _ sung, please say it’s not minho. please, sung, please. 21:33 _

_ and then he bursts into tears trying not to think the worst, but he’s lost all hope that it’s not minho. how can he have hope when all signs point to minho? the tears are coming and he can’t stop them. _

_ I. _

_ jisung has lost all ability to care about his surroundings at this point. he has his head on the table as he sobs his eyes out. he gets a few looks of sympathy and a few pats from the waitress before she has to go back to her post when she hears the bells on the door chime. she greets the newcomer with grace and probably that same smile she had offered jisung earlier.  _

_ and then he heard it. he heard a voice so familiar he thought he was hearing things, but then the waitress politely responds to the voice and he shoots his head up and towards the door so fast that he thinks he’d given himself whiplash.  _

_ and over by the door stands a soaking wet minho waiting for the waitress to make his drink. and he doesn’t care that the chair squeaks when he stands or that people are staring at him as he stumbles over his own feet in the rush to get to minho. he doesn’t care because as soon as he makes it to minho he throws his arms around him and cries. he cries even harder when minho wraps one arm around his waist and laces his free hand into jisung’s hair. minho tries to shush him, but he’s too overwhelmed. the thought of never seeing minho again was too much to handle. he wraps his arms even tighter, afraid that if he lets go minho will be gone for good. _

_ ‘hey, baby, can you please look at me?’ _

_ jisung does as he’s told, arms loosening their hold but not letting go, and looks at minho with tears streaming down his face. he can see the fond smile on minho’s face as minho cups his face, wiping his tears with the pad of his thumb. he takes both hands and cups minho’s face. _

_ ‘don’t fucking do that ever again, i was so scared.’ _

_ ‘i’m sorry, sung, i really didn’t mean to.’ _

_ ‘what about the voicemail?’ _

_ ‘i had to get gas and saw the accident while i was on the phone with you so i hung up and called for an ambulance. then i was stuck in traffic until just now.’ _

_ ‘you- you bitch! you absolute asshole. i was so scared that it was you, i-’ _

_ ‘you?’ _

_ ‘i thought you- i couldn’t- i can’t- i don’t know what i would do if it was you.’ _

_ ‘sung-’ _

_ ‘i panicked. i fucking prayed. it couldn’t be you. i begged and pleaded. anyone but you. it felt like a piece of me was ripped out when i saw the news.’ _

_ and then minho’s smile turns smug as he pulls jisung closer. _

_ ‘so you do care- what the fuck, ow, hey- sung- stop hitting me!’ _

_ ‘don’t be a dumbass then! of course i care.’ _

_ he pulls minho’s face closer, one of his hands lacing into minho’s hair. his voice lowers. _

_ ‘so don’t do that again.’ _

_ minho leans in, their lips brushing as he speaks up.  _

_ ‘i won’t i promise.’ _

_ and then he kisses jisung  _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

_ and then jisung’s phone dings _

**_we here, we queer (89 messages)_ **

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : so, we just kept in the dark then? _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: i’m not reading up in the chat _

**_channie_ ** _ 🤧: holy fuck, sung, are you okay? _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: i’m fine, mom _ _   
_ **_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: also _ _   
_ **_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: i’ve come to answer all of your messages instead of replying to everyone one by one _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: are you okay sung? _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: i’m fine _ _   
_ **_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: minho’s here with me now _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : holy fuck, i was about to get the swat team out there looking for you _

**_minmin 🐈_ ** _ : i- _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : okay, but like more importantly _ _   
_ **_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : we all thought min d worded right? _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : ye _

**_binnie_ ** _ 💪: yea _

**_innie 🦊_ ** _ : ^ _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: mhm _

**_channie_ ** _ 🤧: yeah, we thought minho were died _

**_minmin 🐈_ ** _ : thanks- _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: so by that logic, our hannie did too _

**_sungie 🐿️: ........yeah_ **

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : interesting _

**_innie 🦊_ ** _ : did you cry? _

**_minmin 🐈_ ** _ : like a baby _

**_binnie_ ** _ 💪: so, did y’all kiss? _

**_channie_ ** _ 🤧: changbin! you can’t ask things like that _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: yes he can. did you? _

**_minmin 🐈_ ** _ : ..... _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: .... _ _   
_ **_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: so anyway _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : you fucking did _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : who knew all it took for jisung to grow balls was minho almost dying _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: shut the fuck up _ _   
_ **_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: and tell minho to stop fucking laughing _

**_minmin 🐈_ ** _ : make me _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: i will, don’t fucking test me bitch _

**_innie 🦊_ ** _ : ew. keep your flirting to yourself _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: fdsjklfjsdlfjklsdjgs _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : HELPJFDJLKFJDL _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : called out _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: i hate you all _

**_channie_ ** _ 🤧: you don’t hate minho _

**_channie 🤧has left the chat_ **

**_binnie 💪 has added channie 🤧to the chat_ **

**_channie_ ** _ 🤧: jisung kicked me! _ _   
_ **_channie_ ** _ 🧍‍♂ : can’t help i spit straight facts  _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: you’re on thin fucking ice _

**_channie_ ** _ 🤧: don’t kick me, ur so sexy aha _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: i- _

**_minmin 🐈_ ** _ : sung, stop messaging and pay attention to me  _

**_sungie_ ** _ 🐿️: gotta blast laidese _

**_minmin 🐈_ ** _ : mwah :D _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : ew, they’re probably fucking kissing  _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: nasties  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye, thanks for reading.


	3. stop me from feeling what i'm feeling now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [this song is what inspired this chapter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ndU_IwnRY0)

_ II. _

_ he’s terrified, petrified of what the news will say because if the news confirms what he’s thinking he doesn’t know what he’ll do. minho means the world to him and not having him around would be- _

_ jisung doesn’t even want to think about that because it brings him to tears. he can’t think of a life without minho, can’t see one without minho. hell, he doesn’t even remember what it felt like to not have minho at his side, he refuses to. that was the darkest time in his life and he refuses to go back there.  _

_ he can’t go back to how he used to be, he can’t revert back to the shell of himself he always hated. but as the minutes tick by with no sign of minho, it seems likes there’s no hope. maybe he should call minho again. he frantically searches for his phone and when he finds it he sees four messages from chan, three from changbin, two from jeongin, sixteen messages in his 00 line gc and three missed calls from minho with one voicemail. all over an hour ago. he presses the play button and puts it on speaker so he doesn’t have to struggle to hear.  _

_ ‘hey, sung, i saw that you called so i was calling back. i had to get gas so that’s why i was running a little late but i forgot to text. i’m sorry for worrying you, love, i didn’t mean it.’ _

_ there’s a slight pause where he can hear minho chuckling. _

_ ‘you still love me though, right? because i- woah, what the fuck?’ _

_ there’s the sound of screeching tires, metal on metal and then a loud splash before the audio cuts out. _

_ and then he checks the messages he’s gotten. _

**_from: innie 🦊_ ** **_  
_ ** _ have you seen the news? 21:06 _ _   
_ _ is minho with you? 21:06 _

**_00 line 🏳️‍🌈_ **

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : sung _ _   
_ **_jinnie_ ** _ 😚: jisung _ _   
_ **_jinnie_ ** _ 😚: han jisung _ _   
_ **_jinnie_ ** _ 😚: sung, please _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩:  _ sung, you with min? _   
**_lixie_ ** 🤩:  _ sung? _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: jisung, this isn’t funny _ _   
_ **_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: answer us _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : did you go to min’s house today? _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : fuck, what if min was on his way to jisung _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : wait, the news is back _

**_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : what the fuck _ _   
_ **_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : no _ _   
_ **_jinnie 😚_ ** _ : no, this isn’t right _

**_lixie_ ** 🤩 _ : who else could it be? fuck _

**_minnie_ ** _ 🐶: sungie? baby? are- are you okay? _

**_from: chan the man_ ** _ 🤧 _ _   
_ _ sung? 21:06 _ _   
_ _ the others say you won’t answer 21:16 _ _   
_ _ fuck, i just saw the news 21:16 _ _   
_ _ sung? please tell me you and minho are alright 21: 23 _

**_from: baby binnie_ ** _ 💪 _ _   
_ _ jisung, hey, i saw the news 21:30 _ _   
_ _ fuck, is it minho? 21:30 _ _   
_ __ sung, please say it’s not minho. please, sung, please. 21:33

_ and then he bursts into tears trying not to think the worst, but he’s lost all hope that it’s not minho. how can he have hope when all signs point to minho? the tears are coming and he can’t stop them.  _

_ I. _

_ ‘and we’re back. the driver of the car has been identified as 22 year old yonsei student lee minho as confirmed by his mother just mere minutes ago.’ _

_ jisung’s world shatters. his phone is blowing up, but he can’t bring himself to move from his spot and answer. the waitress comes over and offers her shoulder. and he cries. he cries until the news is over, cries until the last customer leaves, cries until his eyes are raw and bloodshot and his voice is gone. and even after that, he cries. _

_ // _

_ he attends minho’s funeral with his friends and he stops to give minho’s mom a hug and apologize. even as she tells him that it wasn’t his fault he cries because he feels so guilty, but he nods anyway and pretends to forgive himself for her sake.  _

_ he loses his words when he takes the stand to speak and right as he’s about to speak up he can see the press cameras all pointing towards him. it pisses him off. this is his best friend, not some news cover story, he keeps the peace though and continues anyway. _

_ ‘i’m jisung, but most of you know that. i’m sorry, this is really hard for me- minho is- was my best friend. he was always so kind to everyone he crossed paths with. hell, when i met him for the first time he physically pulled me off a ledge. a complete stranger he never knew, and he cared more about me than anyone else i knew. he was my turning point. he was what i woke up to everyday, to stupid texts or videos of his cats. he was my rock. he grounded me when i wanted to fly away. he was what i strived to be because he was gentle, kind and he loved whole-heartedly and i-’ _

_ he loses his voice, frantically trying to wipe the tears away. he has to look away from the crowd. anywhere but near the other people. then his eyes land on the casket holding his best friend and he can’t hold back the tears anymore. _

_ ‘why? why did it have to be you? out of all the people in the world, why you? why not me? i would’ve went for you min. i’d give anything to reverse our roles. losing you was like losing the sun. i don’t see light, i don’t feel any warmth. i just feel cold and numb. i-’ _

_ he sinks to the ground, burying his face behind his hands and cries his eyes out. _

_ ‘i love you, min’ _

_ hyunjin wipes a few tears from his eyes and walks up to the stage. he helps jisung get off the floor and starts to walk him off the stage. minho’s mom stops him before he can make it to his seat and pulls him aside. _

_ ‘he loved you too, you know that right?’ _

_ // _

_ hyunjin, _

_ i’ve done so many thing i’ve regretted in my life, but this trumps it all. i’m finally going to tell minmin i love him. keep chan in check and keep the kids safe. _

_ love always, _

_ sungie _

_ // _

_ ZERO. _

_ it’s 5:30 in the morning when hyunjin hears a knock on his food. he groans, but heads to the door anyway. he gets a rude awakening when he sees two police officers at the front door. _

_ ‘yes, officers?’ _

_ ‘are you hwang hyunjin?’ _

_ ‘are you hwang hyunjin?’ _

_ ‘yes, may i ask why?’ _

_ ‘this letter was addressed to you and we thought you’d like to have it. we are sincerely sorry.’ _

_ // _

_ ‘welcome back to ytn news, i’m jung eunji and this is the breaking news. just five months after the tragic death of 22 year old yonsei student lee minho, the overpass that took his life has claimed another. police believe that around 3:45 this morning a young male took his own life and jumped from the overpass into the water. sources confirmed that the identity of the boy was 20 year old yonsei student han jisung who made headlines with his heart-breaking speech at minho’s funeral. police say that they have hand delivered the letter to the residence of hwang hyunjin with their deepest condolences. that’s all for now. this has been ytn news and i am jung eunji, thank you for joining us this early monday morning, there’s still more to come so stay tuned.’ _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this if you did :D i hope you guys didn't cringe too much reading this. and i want you to know that i love and cherish every single one of you and if any of you need someone to talk to i will always be available. all of my social medias are the same as my user here so if you ever need anyone to talk to i'll be here. i love and cherish all of you guys mwah :D


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